In the end,

I grew tired

of waiting

for a heart

that never chose to stay.

Too many nights

were spent

searching for reasons

why your eyes

always wandered

far beyond my embrace.

Today,

I no longer wish

to win against memory.

I only hope

your name

will someday

feel like someone

I used to know,

instead of someone
I still miss.
until I can walk

the roads we once called ours

without feeling

that I've left a part of myself behind.

If it rains tomorrow,

let every drop

wash away

the promises

we could never keep.

And if I still remember you,

let it be

as someone

who once passed through my life

never again

the place

my heart longs

to return to. 

 Kayaknya energi gw drained banget deh tiap kali ke kantor, kyk nyirep energi negatif orang-orang jadi tiap pulang kayaknya udah cape aja gt, apa karena gw udh mau masuk middle age ya wkwkwk..

Beda banget kayaknya dulu tuh gw selalu happy masuk kantor, ketemu temen-temen, kerja, gajian! Tapi in this economy paham sih tuntutan kerjaan makin banyak banget, tuntutan lay off, belom lagi drama clock in, jadi sedih deh, dulu kayaknya se hectic apa kerjaan tetep happy aja gt bawaannya, skrg kayak arrrggghh ada aja orang yg masya allah ya kak kamu zalim bgt!! 

Motong gaji tanpa sosialisasi, pdhal atasan udah acc klo kita mau telat!

Tiap pumping dicariin mulu and end up bayik umur 18 bulan gw ga minum asi lg!!

Skrg tiap mau ikutan solat jamaah aja dibilang ilang-ilangan mulu!! 

Kayak, duh! Dan dipanggilnya tuh ga penting ya, cuma perkara rolling kerjaan in the middle lo lagi hectic megang kerjaan A, belum kelar tapi lo disuruh rolling! Kan masya allah bgt ya, si bos bilang sih yaudh tp ini as is dlu aja yang skrg, tp buat lo yang udh tau lo dirolling apakah akan totalitas ngerjainnya? Tentu tidac fergusoo! 

Belum lagi liat berita yang bikin drop kayak, duh gila ya gw kerja mati2an aja megang 1 kg emas ga pernah, ini 74 kg gila bgt sih! Suram bgt, trus presidennya blg kalau emg suram cabut aja dari Indo, kayak duhhhh! Tolong negara manapun klaim gw jd warga negara lo lah wkwkwk.

Dahlah intinya lg lelahh sama org2 dzalim ini, semoga doa gw yg udh didzalimin kalian2 nembus ampe langit & di aminkan malaikat2 Allah!

In This Economy

 Lagi happyyy bgtt,  anak2 akuuu tumbuh dengan baik, penuh tawa dan Masya Allah sehat ❤️ nothing can be happier🌸lucu bbgtt yang 1 introvert kemana2pasti ngumpet ketek, yang 1 lagi extrovert, ketemu orang baru langsung akrab..

pokonya tahun ini Masya Allah bgt lagi happy, dpt berita happy dari pak suami, alhamdulilaah.. in this economy yaa, tp sumpil deh, kalau bisa cabut ke LN mending cabut gak sih, kayaknya udh migrain berat liat berita tiap harinya ada aja gebrakan anomali para pejabat negara. entah itu cuma sekedar ngomong nyenyenye atau bangun tidur saya buka horden Indonesia cerah sampe sempet bilang ke bos gw, saking susahnya kita nerbitin surat garansi dari bank, alihin aja gak sih bisnis plannya nya jadi embegehh atau koses wkwkwk, sesusah ituu bahkan untuk instansi yang bantu negara berpuluh-puluh tahun, penugasan berpuluh-puluh proyek dahlah ga ngerti lg, saya hanya emak-emak yang terkejut liat harga cabe semahal ituuu, bensin semahal itu dan emas se wow itu harganya, sementara gaji mamak-bapake masih aja imut..

Malaysia plie banget rekrut akuh jadi pendudukmuu :(

kita (bukan) untuk selamanya

Barangkali yang paling menyakitkan
bukan kehilanganmu,
melainkan menyadari
bahwa sejak awal
cinta ini tak pernah diberi tempat
untuk disebut benar.

Padahal kita telah membangun
masa depan
dari mimpi-mimpi yang terlalu percaya.

Kini aku bertanya,
adakah yang masih pantas dipertahankan
ketika harapan perlahan berubah
menjadi abu
yang bahkan angin pun
enggan mengingatnya?

Dan aku tetap di sini
menunggu sesuatu
yang mungkin
tak pernah berniat datang.

combo superrr!!!

 wah  goks sih ini feat ed sheeran my fav baby lovlyyyy  wkwkwk...

its fidayyy babyyy almost weekend, time to my baby baby dirumah asupan jalan-jalan, asupan jajan, pas banget mamak besok ga puasa, gas kali ya masa gak? wkwkkw kemana tapi yaaa vote vote vote :

• Farm house
• taman mini
• kebun raya
• mmm apa lagi yaw

hawa kantor lagi panas banget ni, entah kenapaa....

Remedy for Memory

My Galau Eraa -Deasyp- ❤

You almost convinced me
that happiness was something worth waiting for
that one day,
after enough patience,
after enough faith,
we would finally find our way
to each other.
So I silenced every doubt.
I folded away every fear.
I carried hope
like it was something fragile
that only you could keep alive.
Then reality smashing me hard
And somehow,
I became the story you've told

Try explain why everything fell apart.
You said I stood between you and your future.
You said I was the reason.

The truth is,
I never wanted to stand between anyone.
I only wanted someone to stand beside me
when words sharper than knives
left me tired
to defend myself.
But once again,
I let silence take my side.
If blaming me made your life easier,
then I will carry that weight
without asking you to.
That was the last thing
I ever did for us.

I walked away
without your hand to hold,
without your voice
Telling me it would be alright.
Perhaps
that is what love looks like
when it belongs to only one person.
Without sound.
Without drama.

Just unbearably lonely.
You didn't only leave.
You left me questioning
every promise
I had built a future around.
So if peace has finally found you,

keep it.
I'll stop searching for answers
in someone
who never stayed long enough
to give them.
As for our memories
they no longer need a grave.
I'll simply leave them
where they can no longer

follow me home.

If you wanna delete me completely,

do it slowly.

Don't tear apart
the fragile paper
where we painted our memories.

Some memories
aren't meant to survive
a hurried goodbye.