When you disappeared in 2016, I spent years learning how to live without you. Every birthday, your little message brought a part of me back to life, even when your replies made it clear that we could never be what we once were.

I thought I had finally made peace with losing you. Then you came back, and suddenly, I was that girl again, still afraid of losing someone who was never truly mine.

Back then, I thought loving you meant accepting second place. Now I know what it feels like to be someone’s priority, and I never want to lose myself that way again.

We have families now, little hearts waiting for us at home. I know we can’t go back, even if some part of me still wishes we could.

If you remember me, remember the girl I was when we were young and wild. She loved you more than she knew how to explain.

And maybe the saddest part is that I have to learn to lose you again, even though I never really got to have you in the first place.